Most of us have been there: our dog jumps on a guest, grabs a shoe, or starts barking out the window, and your instinct is to say, 鈥淣o!鈥濃�攎aybe even loudly. It feels like the right thing to do in the moment. But here鈥檚 the truth: saying 鈥渘o鈥� might stop the behaviour for a second, but it doesn鈥檛 teach your dog what you want them to do instead. And that鈥檚 where the real learning happens.
Dogs are intelligent and eager to connect with us鈥攂ut they don鈥檛 come pre-programmed with an understanding of what behaviours we want. Left to their own devices, they鈥檒l jump up to say hello, chew things that are not their toys, or bark to communicate excitement. None of these actions are 鈥渂ad鈥� from a dog鈥檚 perspective鈥攖hey鈥檙e just normal dog behaviours.
If we only correct what we don鈥檛 like, we leave them guessing. But when we show them what we want鈥攕uch as sitting to greet, chewing a toy instead of a shoe, or staying calm when the doorbell rings鈥攖hey can succeed. Teaching your dog what鈥檚 expected sets them up for success and builds confidence.
Let鈥檚 say your dog jumps on you when you come home. You say 鈥渘o,鈥� and maybe they get down鈥攂ut what happens next time? Probably the same thing. That鈥檚 because 鈥渘o鈥� just interrupts the moment; it doesn鈥檛 offer a solution. Instead, try teaching your dog to sit for greetings. Now they have a clear job to do, and you鈥檙e reinforcing a polite behaviour rather than scolding an unwanted one.
Dogs are excellent at figuring out what gets your attention. If barking out the window makes you come over and yell, that鈥檚 still attention鈥攁nd it can actually reinforce the behaviour. But if being quiet earns them a treat or praise, they鈥檒l begin to choose that instead. Show them a better option and reward it generously.
Imagine spending your day with someone who keeps pointing out what you鈥檙e doing wrong鈥攂ut never tells you how to do it right. That鈥檚 how it can feel for a dog who hears 鈥渘o鈥� all the time. Over time, this kind of interaction can chip away at your dog鈥檚 confidence and strain your relationship.
On the flip side, when you highlight and reward good choices鈥攍ike sitting calmly, walking nicely on leash, or waiting at the door鈥攜ou create a more trusting, cooperative bond. Your dog begins to look to you for guidance.
What should you do? Instead of focusing on stopping the unwanted behaviour, think about what alternative good behaviour you鈥檇 rather have your dog do in that moment. If they bark when the doorbell rings, teach them to go to a mat and lie down. Don鈥檛 want them pestering you during dinner? Practice a 鈥渟ettle鈥� cue with activities on a comfy bed nearby and reward them for staying put.
Bottom line: saying 鈥渘o鈥� might stop the behaviour in the moment, but teaching an alternative behaviour creates lasting change. And in the long run, that鈥檚 what leads to a better-behaved dog鈥攁nd a much more enjoyable life together.
